The Path I Chose
by tigereyes320
Summary: Veronica has come to a crossroads in her life, she gets a gift that helps her choose the correct path for her


Title: The Path I Chose  
Author: Tigereyes320  
Pairing/Character: Logan/Veronica  
Word Count: 3500  
Rating: PG-13  
Summary: Veronica has come to a crossroads in her life, she gets a gift that helps her choose the correct path for her  
Spoilers: Anything up to and including what we know so far from Season three  
A/N: This is in response to the VM lyric fic Challenge; Lyric from _Then came the last days of May_ was 'They're okay, the last days of May, I'll be breathing dry air' my object was Pilot's wings. Want to thank my great beta phoenixrae

Veronica was sitting on the sofa in the living room. The late September sunshine was filtering through the tall windows. She was in the middle of doing internet searches for some clients of Mars' Investigations. She had been partners with her father for the past four years.

It had also been four years since she moved into this house with Logan. He had on more than one occasion proposed but she had told him marriage wasn't in the cards in the foreseeable future. She told him one day she might be ready but not now. Logan said if they were going to be in a committed relationship, would she consider living with him.

Veronica knew it was because he wanted to wear her down about marriage. Since Logan had already bought the house Veronica insisted on paying for half the utilities.

Everything had been going fine in their relationship. It seemed no matter what happened the two of them always seemed to find their way back to each other. Logan had gotten into writing under a pseudonym, he wanted the books to be liked for the content not because they were written by an Echolls. No one could pull a reader in like Logan.

Veronica smiled at the thought of Logan trying to pull one over on her. Their anniversary was on Saturday, Veronica knew Logan had planned a surprise party for her and invited all their friends. He seemed happy to do it, but in his eyes she saw that wasn't completely happy. They had just fought again this morning about getting married. He couldn't understand why she kept saying no, the only thing that was different between what they were and being married was a piece of paper. She couldn't understand why that piece of paper was so important to him. They both knew how bad marriage could be why did he want to put them through that. Finally Logan had left before he said something that couldn't be taken back.

That was five hours ago.

The sudden ringing of the phone startled her. "Hello?"

"Veronica Mars please."

"This is she. What can I help you with."

"This is Becca at Dr. Johnson's office. You came in yesterday for your yearly exam."

"Yes Becca, was there a problem?"

"I just needed to let you know the doctor won't be able to give you a new prescription for birth control pills."

"Why not?"

"We can't give a prescription to women who are already pregnant."

"Excuse me! What did you say?"

"You're pregnant Ms. Mars congratulations. The doctor is going to want to see you to get started on a prenatal program. Does Monday morning work for you?"

"Monday morning?" Veronica asked barely comprehending what she was saying.

"Yes at eleven o'clock."

"Monday at eleven is fine."

"We'll see you then, have a good day."

Veronica barely remembered hanging up the phone. She was pregnant. How was that possible? She and Logan most of time used two forms of birth control. She closed her eyes and tried to remember a time that they had both forgotten.

Veronica groaned "That damn flu." She and Logan had both been struck by a nasty flu around two months ago. First Logan then herself. The first three days was non stop vomiting, and then the rest of the two weeks recovering. They made love the first time they were both feeling up to it. Logan hadn't used anything, and because she'd been sick her pills had obviously not worked either. Veronica unconsciously rubbed her belly, "Now there's a baby."

She wasn't stupid, she knew she had options. As terrified as she was of being a wife she was even more terrified of being a mother. But this baby was a piece of her and Logan, they had made a life. Could she end the pregnancy, end this combination of her and Logan. Logan would probably be thrilled a little piece of them running around. Heaven help them, but Neptune wasn't ready for a combination of Mars' and Echolls' genes.

Veronica had no idea what to do.

The security buzzer sounded. Veronica got up and went to the security consol. "Yes Brian."

"I'm sorry to bother you Veronica, but there is a messenger service with an urgent letter for you. He's clean."

"I'm not expecting anything, but go ahead and send him, not his truck up the driveway."

"You got it."

Veronica gave the guy a few minutes and then opened the front door.

"Veronica Mars?"

"Yes?"

"Can you sign here, line eighteen?"

Veronica signed her name and the guy gave her a stiff 9 x 12 envelope. "Here you go ma'am. Have a good day."

"Thank you." Veronica said, as she closed the door and went back to the sofa and opened it up. There was a folded sheet of paper and two envelopes inside, one thicker than the other. Veronica opened the folded sheet of paper first.

_Ms. Mars;_

_Veronica, I hope you'll forgive the familiar use of your name. I heard you spoken of so frequently. I'm sorry to be the one to tell you this but you mother Lianne Reynolds Mars passed away six weeks ago. I went through her things recently and found the enclosed envelopes. Her wish was that they go to you and hopefully give you some closure. There is also a pin, pilot's wings. She said her letter would explain it._

_I know you haven't seen or spoken to your mother in over ten years. Please know she bore you and your father no ill will. She felt with all her betrayals she didn't deserve you two_._ Lianne loved you very much and her last thoughts were of you and how she wished she could have been the mother you needed._

_I hope you will read her letter and find some peace, because that was all she ever wanted for you. A box with her belongings is here, if you decide you'd like them let me know. I wrote my address on __one of the envelopes. Lianne requested to be cremated and her ashes scattered at the Grand Canyon, which I've done._

_With my most sincere condolences,_

_Jeffrey Adams_

Veronica looked at the two envelopes, and decides at this point she had nothing to lose, and opened the envelope with her name on it. The other envelope was addressed to her and her father.

She sat back in the sofa and began to read;

_Dear Veronica,_

_If you're reading this I've died__ from this disease I brought on myself. Six months ago I was diagnosed with severe cirrhosis of the liver. They gave me nine months to a year. I sit here breathing the dry Phoenix air and know my time is short. May is beautiful time to visit the Grand Canyon._

_I decided, selfishly perhaps to not contact you or your father with this news. I have hurt the both of you so much with my behavior. It wouldn't be fair of me to come back in your life to leave it again. I know you're angry with me and it could even border on hate._

_My dying wish isn't that you forgive me, I don't have the right to ask for that. I also won't ask that you understand that my behavior was part of my disease. I decided three months ago that I wanted to give you better legacy than what you got from me so far._

_In the other envelope is my version of an apology. Please accept it though I know it comes years to late to really make a difference. It's the money I stole from you and the money I took from your father. I included interest._

_I kept my eye on you. I know you graduated with honors from Hearst. That you traveled the world taking your photographs. I even know that you came back and joined your father in his business and moved in with Logan. I want you to know I hope you two are happy. I haven't heard of a marriage, maybe it will come one day._

_If you aren't married I hope it isn't because of what I showed you of marriage and what you've seen working for your father. The dark and seedy side to love. People try to justify an affair by saying they fell in love. It took me over a decade that when you make a vow to someone, you don't have the right to fall in love, you've given that heart to someone else._

_Falling in love means you're free to act on the wishes of your heart, if you're married if you don't and shouldn't have that freedom._

_Please don't misunderstand me Veronica, your father was a wonderful man, and a very good husband. I was just really bad wife and mother. I put my needs ahead of both of yours._

_I know that you know, that Jake Kane and I were very much in love in high school. We were always so happy, but then we had a horrible argument and broke up, and that was when Celeste made her move. She always had a thing for Jake, we opened the door and she walked in. When she said she was pregnant Jake did the honorable thing. I didn't fight it. Back then if you got pregnant you got married. _

_After graduation we went our separate ways. Everyone says high school romance never last. Jake and mine did, our mistake was thinking we had the right to hurt our families just so we could be together._

_I want you to know, how happy I am that __you're mine and Keith's, he's adored you from the moment he found out I was carrying you. He would read baseball stats to you when you were inside me. Anytime he had some police training he would tell you all about it. I swear the moment you were born you were looking for him. I'm sorry that you had to ever go through the agony of thinking he wasn't your father. You didn't deserve that hell. Out of all the things I have ever done, having you was the best thing I ever did._

_You're such an incredible young woman, you overcame so much, and a lot of what you had to overcome was because of me. Please understand the lack wasn't in you it was in me. The liquor became a way of being able to hide how I felt, instead of being honest, I kept piling lie on top of lie._

_Veronica you are so much stronger than me. When you told me some of what you'd been through I don't know where you got the strength to do it. I would have given up or transferred to another school. You are your father's daughter, you knew you were right and no one was telling you differently. I'm so proud of how you avenged Lilly. No matter her decisions, she didn't deserve to die that way._

_My fondest wish would be that I could be there to tell you not to be afraid. A parent should give a child wings to help them soar out into the world being unafraid of the unknown, yet knowing if it's needed they can come home to be enfolded in the love and safety of their family._

_I didn't give you that then, and I can't give it to you now. I wish I had the words of wisdom to tell you, you aren't fated to make my mistakes. You'll make your own, if you haven't already. As for the alcoholism, yes there's a chance it could happen to you, but there are groups that can help you if you let them. They don't judge and they can show you what some of the signs are to look out for._

_If you have one fault Veronica it's that you're too strong. Sometimes you have to bend enough to let other be for you. You need to understand that them wanting to protect you and be with you; is not them thinking you can't handle the problem on you own, but that they want to be there to share the burden with you._

_You have to let people in, yes there is a risk you can get hurt, but if you don't there's a bigger risk. One that you'll be so cold and alone, when the love comes along that you thought you always wanted, you won't recognize it or be able to let it in._

_A wise person once said; "You don't pick the one can live with, you pick the one you can't live without"_

_I thought I did the first, but after your father divorced me, I realized I had the second all along._

_I've enclosed a pin, a joke between me and you, pilot's wings. I hope they inspire you to fly. Fly to the person you can't live without, and remember to enjoy every minute of your life. Love is meant to be enjoyed, for every second of heartache there is a mountain of happiness. Just focus on the mountain Veronica, and not the seconds._

_I do have a request to make of you actually I have two. Tell your father I loved him, and that the worst mistake I made was turning away from him. My second request is that when or if you can ever forgive me that you bring your family to the Grand Canyon at the end of May, it's so beautiful here then breathing that clean fresh dry air. If you whisper you forgive me I promise I'll hear it. You've done nothing to me that you need to ask forgiveness for. _

_You were the best daughter, and my second worst mistake was leaving and hurting you._

_Please, believe me when I tell you I love you so much, and that if I could, I would do it over and this time I wouldn't be so afraid of life being hard. _

_I love you,_

_Mom_

Veronica sat there with tears running down her face. The unexplained weight that had been on her heart for years seem to life and with it came a clarity of what she wanted with her life. She quickly opened the other envelope and pulled out two checks. One made out to her and the other to her father, paying them back the money she had stolen from them.

Veronica searched for the large envelope and digging inside found the pin. She ran her fingers over the cheap plastic.

"Veronica! I'm home I brought Luigi's. All the manicotti you and your hollow leg can eat. Babe where are you?"

Logan came into the living room and found her on the sofa. As he came closer he saw the tear tracks. "Baby what's wrong? Was Keith in an accident?"

Veronica shook her head.

Logan came by and sat beside her. "Then what is it? Who's the letter from, and why are you crying?"

"The letter is from my mother. She's dead, she died six weeks ago. She wrote and apologized for everything." Veronica said snuggling into his side

"I'm sorry, I know she wasn't what you always needed but she was your mom." Logan drew her into his arms to hold her close.

"She gave me back the money I spent to put her in rehab. Gave it to me with interest. She paid Dad back to. Can I ask you something?"

"You can ask me anything."

"Are you mad that I won't agree to marry you?"

"A little, I want everyone in this small-minded town, and everywhere else know that I'm proud to have you next to me. I want it to be as my wife. Since that seems not to be what you want, then we'll continue living together. I want to be with you, if this is the only way I can have you, I'll take it."

"You've been so good to me. I want you to know, that you're the only guy I've been comfortable enough with to want to live with them. Do you think you can you live without me?"

"I don't seem to be able to." Logan said with a grin as he kissed the top of her head. He wondered if this news would make it even longer before Veronica accepted his proposal.

"Me neither. We seem to always circle back to each other."

"Yeah we do."

"Logan?" Veronica sat up suddenly and turned so she was facing Logan.

"Yeah?"

"Do you still want to marry me?"

"I've been wanting to marry you since we graduated from college." Logan took her hands in his.

"Then why did you let me take that photography fellowship?"

"Veronica you've always wanted to see the world, this way you got to do it on someone else's dime. I knew I had to show you I trusted you enough to let you go. That I trusted you would want to come back to me."

"You never asked if I met anyone while I was gone."

"You never asked me if I got involved with someone."

"Does it really matter if we did?"

"Not to me. You came back and we've been together since you came back. I know you're not the type to be unfaithful."

"You've always given me more trust, than I've given you. I'm changing that here and now, if anything happened I doesn't matter to me either. In fact I want to ask you one more thing."

"What do you want to ask me?"

"Want to make an honest woman out of me?"

"Are you serious? You want to get married?"

Veronica nodded, "Yes."

Logan grabbed her face and kissed her soundly. "Why the change of heart? I'm still holding you to the yes by the way."

"I realized that you're the one I can't and don't want to live without. What do you say we announce it to everyone at the party on Saturday?"

"You found out about it? I wanted it to be a surprise."

"I am a Private Dick."

"What am I going to do with you?"

"Marry me?"

"Absolutely, In fact, this now belongs to you." Logan said as he pulled out of his jeans the ring he'd bought the week before she moved in.

Veronica held out her hand as Logan placed the platinum and diamond ring on her finger. "I have one favor to ask, and it's huge."

"What's the favor?"

"I want to get married next year at the end of May at the Grand Canyon."

"If that's what you want we can do that. That's the big favor?"

"Kind of. I got a call earlier from the doctor."

"What did they say?" Logan asked grabbing her hands again.

"That I'm pregnant." Veronica won the bet with herself. Logan was by turns shocked, scared, and than thrilled.

"You're what? We've always been careful." Logan looked at her with trepidation. Veronica was a fanatic about birth control which is why they often used two forms of it.

"We weren't too careful when we got the flu."

"You seem happy with the news. I would have thought you'd be having a meltdown. I can't believe there's going to be a mini-us. A little me or a little you. I wonder if Neptune is ready for that."

"I am happy. At first I was really terrified by it all, but the letter from Mom helped me put some of my fears in perspective. The favor is that I'm going to be pretty huge in May, when we get married. In fact if my math is correct, the baby might be joining us at the wedding."

"Well we always did do things unconventionally."

"You don't mind?"

"Not if it's what you want. Why do you want to wait so long? I mean we could be married on Saturday if it was what you wanted."

"My mother said if I could forgive her I should bring my family there at the end of May. I figure the best the way to show her I forgive her is to get married there and give her, her first look at her grandchild."

"That's a good enough reason for me."

"Thank you." Veronica said hugging Logan.

Logan wrapped his arms around her and held her tight. "But you're the one telling your father that his grandchild might be arriving before we're actually married."


End file.
